Step 1: Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step 2
Step 2: Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows. Did that fix it? Lose all your files. Quietly weep.
Apple
Step 1: Take it to an Apple store. Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step 2
Step 2: Buy an new Mac. Did that fix it? Overdraw your account. Quietly weep.
Linux
Step 1: Learn to code in C++. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silkon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Lern to code in Java. Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks). Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step 2
Step 2: Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietly weep.
